92 If Your law had not been my delight,
Then I would have perished in my affliction.
93 I will never forget Your precepts,
For by them You have ]revived me.
The word revived in this passage literally means “kept me alive.” O the Power of the Word of God. I couldn’t understand what was going on. Was God mad at me? Had I sinned? Did I hear Him wrong? Why me, Why us, Why now? I remember crying out to God in the midst of my own affliction. I cried, “Father, I feel like this is going to kill me!” I heard his whisper of a response in my spirit. “Yes, Carole, this will kill the parts of you that need to die, but you will live.” I pondered what this might mean. Now, years later, I understand. I have told many people, “That girl that went down to that place, she doesn’t exist anymore, she died, but I have been saved through it all, the dross melted off of the silver, a new girl has emerged.” My dark night of the Soul, as many people refer to it, completely transformed me. I learned to cling to God, His Word and His promises like never before. Even when I felt like I was holding on to the very One who was allowing this all to happen, I clung to Him, because I had come to trust that He knows what He is doing, even when I do not.
O how His Word lifted me daily, hourly, moment by moment. He is so good, so kind, so loving, even in the midst of great tribulation, He is always good. I never thought I would find joy again, but I have. I never thought I would have peace again, but it permeates my soul now. I had to go through the fire. Before the fire, my beliefs were so much doctrine. But when you go through a time of testing, where God is all you have, His Word is all you cling to, His peace is all you want and His love is all you need; you let go of everything else. When you let go of everything else, You find that He truly is all you need, all you have ever wanted. You find that He is the treasure, the Pearl of great price, the joy of my soul.
I cried out to be closer to God, and He answered me with a time of struggle so fierce, a fire that burned so hot, but He allowed me to walk through the flames, and only that which needed to burn, was burned. I was saved by God through the fire, by His Word, by His love, by His grace.
What a mighty and magnificent God we serve. I love You, God, thank you so much for “the fire.”