A Guest Post by My Sister: Christine Laporte
Psalm 118: “I was pushed back and about to fall,
but the Lord helped me.
14 The Lord is my strength and my defense;
he has become my salvation.
During the recent Covid-19 “Stay at Home” order, I started feeling unsettled, lethargic and stuck. I wouldn’t say I was having a complete break down but felt very uncomfortable, even scared.
Throughout this journey called “life”, because so many times I tried to “handle” things on my own, I learned that asking for help is both wise and necessary if I was going to overcome challenges and move forward.
Lately I tend to take my troubles to the Holy Spirit because He is full of strength and comfort. He will point me to just the right verse(s) I need to read, giving me hope and direction. Most important, He pulls me out of the dark abyss of depression.
Since my late teens I have experienced varying degrees of depression. During my first year of college my anxiety and lack of motivation to even get out of bed was so serious I ended up in the hospital for treatment. Believe me, those were dark days for my family and when I was discharged months later, I was raw. Yes, I grew closer to the Lord and devoured His word, but I was a different person. Like the tree roots in the accompanying photo, I was exposed. Decisions I made led to my depression and I had to live in a psychiatric hospital for five months. Five months so I wouldn’t hurt myself, sleep all day without eating; five months for me to learn I could lean on God and He would help me.
So this April, when I sensed myself falling back into that pit and emotional prison, I got very nervous. I certainly didn’t want to go back to the suffocating place in my mind that the Lord delivered me from. After the novelty of being able to sleep late, take walks, cook and watch movies wore off, once again I found myself not wanting to get out of bed.
“Holy Spirit, I’m in a bad way. I don’t want to do anything, but I have responsibilities. Please give me the strength to just get moving and a reason to get out of bed. Show me what the Lord wants me to know in the midst of this mess”. And He delivered; He pointed me to Psalm 118 and just as King David was pushed back and about to fall, I was about to fall. Fortunately, just as the Lord helped the King, He helped me.
That verse gave me the light I needed to step out of the darkness I was feeling. I knew there would be stability from God, holding me up. And each day, whether I’m at home or able to start working, going back to church and taking my family to the movies again, He is my strength, my defense and my salvation.