by: Carole L. Haines
“For it is the God who commanded light to shine out of darkness, who has shone in our hearts to give the light of the knowledge of the glory of God in the face of Jesus Christ. But we have this treasure in earthen vessels, that the excellence of the power may be of God and not of us.”
(2 Corinthians 4:6-7)
As I begin this journey into God’s view of us, I am a very weary lady from a lot of spiritual warfare against my own heart lately. Before I began to recognize the difference between the enemies lies and God’s uplifting correction, I would just believe whatever came into my head. When it was bad, I would just sort of curl up and take the pounding, hoping it would end soon. I had no idea we could fight back, or that we had so much freedom in believing what God says about us, instead of how we feel about ourselves, or what other people say.
It has been an arduous and long journey from this turmoil into a better state of emotional and mental health. That journey has taken me from complete ignorance as to what spiritual attacks look like, and how to fight those lies; into a relationship with God. He has been loving, teaching and training me in His Word to recognize, capture, confess and change my thoughts; all while trusting my emotions to catch up to the truth eventually.
I didn’t know anything about “self-talk” when I first started walking with the Lord as a young girl. I had quite a happy childhood, up until I was nine years old. My ninth and tenth year were crazy in so many ways. My Dad had left the church and joined a cult. Then my Mom had come to Christ amidst that fiasco. I was watching two parents argue a lot over religion and truth. There must be Real Truth out there somewhere, I thought, and not just somebody’s opinion.
Soon after my mom’s conversion, I was led to Christ. I think I remember kneeling at my bedside with my Mom and praying to receive Jesus as Savior. It was all so simple, and yet it was so real. I remember talking to God about everything, as if He was my best friend. Then a childhood friend ghosted me, just cut me completely out of her life. We hung out every day before. But a new girl moved into the neighborhood and told my friend she couldn’t be friends with me anymore if she wanted to be her new best friend.
I know it sounds pretty silly, but that set me on a course of fear and self-rejection so deeply planted in my heart, it would take decades to get over. The cycle of fear and rejection just kept repeating itself over and over again in my life, like a skipping record. But God is so good and kind. He began to show me how to walk out of self-rejection and into His view of myself. That is what this Reflection journey is all about. Because in God’s eyes we are all Cherished and Precious and Wanted.