by: Carole L. Haines
And when Pharaoh drew near, the children of Israel lifted their eyes, and behold, the Egyptians marched after them. So, they were very afraid, and the children of Israel cried out to the LORD. Then they said to Moses, “Because there were no graves in Egypt, have you taken us away to die in the wilderness? Why have you so dealt with us, to bring us up out of Egypt? Is this not the word that we told you in Egypt, saying, ‘Let us alone that we may serve the Egyptians’? For it would have been better for us to serve the Egyptians than that we should die in the wilderness.” (Exodus 14:10-12)
My life took me through a valley so confusing that I despaired of life. I found myself wallowing in fear and regret because I was so sure that God had led my husband and I to take the steps we did. Everything went right to open the way forward, but when we got there, everything went wrong. We had relocated for a job of Bruce’s, as well as a ministry opportunity, or so we thought. But it went so wrong that we felt trapped in a foreign land. I can relate to how the Israelites feel in this passage. The whining of “Weren’t there enough graves in Egypt?” I get that. After 4 years of loss and struggle, God rescued us back home to Maryland. Good old, Maryland, USA. It was the most confusing time of my life. But I love Oswald Chambers’ insight into this.
“It is never God’s will that we should be anything less than absolutely complete in Him. Anything that disturbs our rest in Him must be rectified at once, and it is not rectified by being ignored but only by coming to Jesus Christ. If we will come to Him, asking Him to produce Christ-awareness in us, He will always do it, until we fully learn to abide in Him.”
(Oswald Chambers, My Utmost for His Highest)
I found this to be so true in my struggle of loss and confusion. I cried out to God, “This has cost me so much, I’ve lost so very much, Lord. For what? Why did we come here?”
But God answered, “Yes, and when you count it as nothing compared to knowing Me, You shall grow closer to Me.”
“But this is just killing me, Lord. How long?
“Yes, My Dear Child, are things in you that still need to die. This is how it had to be.”
Hard to believe that those answers gave me peace, but they did. I counted it all as loss and began to seek Him more about what needed to die in me. I stopped asking the “Why?” and just trusted Him. He has brought me through to a much more fruitful place and I am ever grateful for His Disciplining Love.
How about you? Are you confused by what you are going through right now? Take your eyes off of it and fix them on Jesus. He will bring you through. He is ever faithful. Trust Him in the midst of this great confusion.