by: Carole L. Haines
I was driving with my husband yesterday and I was just grieving over some things in my life. It was like a wound was re-opened and I just began to pour out my heart before God, right there in the car I began to pray:
Lord Jesus, I feel like I am on a battlefield and I am deeply wounded. I am cold and i am scared. I can’t move, I am frozen in this place, completely helpless. I need You, Jesus, to come and rescue me. I need You, Jesus, to come and save me. I can’t get off this battlefield by myself. Whenever I try to get up, more gunfire flies at my head. Please Jesus, come and rescue me, come and save me. I’m so weary of being afraid, of fear keeping me from the good things You have for me. I need You, Lord Jesus, more than ever. I am weak, but You are strong. I believe, Lord Jesus, help my unbelief. Dear Lord, come and carry me off this field and put me somewhere safe where I can heal. Amen!
Deep prayers, going down into the depths of our darkest places. God gave me what many would probably consider a strange life verse. I have other life verses, but this one has really been coming up in me lately as I battle this lifelong enemy of anxiety.
I will give you the treasures of darkness And hidden wealth of secret places, So that you may know that it is I, The Lord, the God of Israel, who calls you by your name. (Isaiah 45:3)
I have cried out for release from this Anxiety, and God has brought so much victory. But He has never taken it away completely. It rears its ugly head at the most inopportune times. I was supposed to do my first craft show yesterday and I froze in fear. I just didn’t go, my anxiety was eating me alive. I know all the right verses to believe, and it’s so easy for me to believe them for others, but I struggle with believing these truths for myself. I stood in my kitchen and cried out, “I’m such a failure!”
But God spoke truth to my heart and is definitely giving me the treasures of these dark places, giving me the hidden wealth of these secret struggles. He is making me strong in these places. I am His and He is mine. He will never give up on me, and He will never give up on you either. Let me give you some more precious promises from Chapter 45 of Isaiah.
18 For this is what the Lord says, He who created the heavens (He is the God who formed the earth and made it, He established it and did not create it as a waste place, but formed it to be inhabited):
“I am the Lord, and there is no one else.
19 I have not spoken in secret, In some dark land; I did not say to the offspring of Jacob,
‘Seek Me in a wasteland’; I, the Lord, speak righteousness, Declaring things that are right.
20 “Gather yourselves and come; Come together, you survivors of the nations! (vs. 18-20a)
Do you feel like I have been feeling, trapped on a battlefield, wounded and helpless? God speaks to our hearts and says to us, “Seek me in a wasteland; I, the Lord, speak righteousness, declaring things that are right.” We need to reach out to Him in these dark places when our whole being just wants to curl up and go to sleep.
Lord, we cry out to You, come to us on this battlefield and carry us to safety Lord. Heal our wounds and bind our broken hearts to You. We are aware of our need for You, Lord Jesus, now more than ever. Please come and save us. Amen