By: Carole L. Haines
He was despised and abandoned by men, a man of great pain and familiar with sickness;
And like one from whom people hide their faces, He was despised, and we had no regard for Him.4 However, it was our sicknesses that He Himself bore, and our pains that He carried.” (Isaiah 53:3=4b)
Lord, I’m carrying around this bucket of pain
Filled with all kinds of things that hurt me
I look down into it and see faces of those who rejected me
I see faces of those I’ve wronged
I see my own reflection, grimaced with memories I’d just as soon forget
But how do I leave it behind? How do I empty this bucket of pain?
There’s a tiny little shovel I bought for myself
And I’ve been trying to sort its contents
Rejection over here, loss over there,
Broken dreams to the right, things I dare not speak of, to the left
Sorting it myself just isn’t working
So I pick it up and carry on
But every step I take, it sloshes and slops
Splashes hit the ground and splatter on those who walk with me
It’s so heavy, Lord, I must put it down, my arms just ache
But where? And how, how do I empty this bucket of pain?
I feel that if I poured it out upon the world, it would poison everyone around.
It would hurt and harm those I love.
It’s so putrid and vile, people run from its odorous swaths
Which Encircle me as it sloshes with every step. So I carry it myself
Give it to Me, You say, Lord.
My Child, give it to me. I will take it from You.
I died and bore all that, so I could take it from you.
But how do I do that, Lord?
I just can’t carry it anymore. Please show me how to give it to You.
“He was despised and abandoned by men, a man of great pain and familiar with sickness;
And like one from whom people hide their faces, He was despised, and we had no regard for Him.4 However, it was our sicknesses that He Himself bore, and our pains that He carried.”
There it is, Lord, You carried this all for us already. You died so we wouldn’t have to carry it. You suffered rejection so we could be accepted. You endured such sorrow, so we could know joy. You laid your life down, so that we could actually be free from our sin and could give You what we could never carry,
Thank You, Jesus. Thank You.
Note from the author: It is hard to carry around all our hurts, it’s too heavy. If you are having trouble carrying yours around, please allow me to share a place I have found where I am learning to do just that. Celebrate Recovery is a ministry to those with Hurts, Habits and Hang-ups that keep us from experiencing the full life Christ has purchased for us. Please look for a Celebrate Recovery near you. I have found more healing there in the last 3 years, than in all the rest of my life. It is a safe place to learn to give Jesus your own Bucket of pain. Be Blessed as you lean deeper into Him.
Carole L. Haines