Father, I don’t really know how to relate to you as a person.
To me, You are much more about Words on the pages of Scripture
. But I don’t want a paper God, I need you, Father.
Is it okay to want to relate to you as flesh and blood, body, soul and spirit?
Is that even possible? Is that part of what you wanted us to do
when you became the Word made flesh that dwelt among us?
I can’t see You now, like the disciples did. They saw You but still doubted.
I miss you, Jesus, and I don’t want my own way anymore.
I am the prodigal who has wandered far from home and squandered all the gifts given to her.
Yet, I am also the resentful son who stayed at home and did what needed to be done.
Father, I tried to save my own life by making something of it and I failed and lost it all.
I stand before you with nothing left, Do as You will
,My life is now a blank sheet of paper, an empty page.
I have a Paper life.
That can be terrifying and exciting at the same time.
All the nothingness and yet, all the unseen possibilities.
Save me from myself and all of my own good intentions.
Make my life what You intended it to be when you had Your first thoughts of me.
You write all the lines, God, You fill up the pages of my paper life.
All to Jesus, I surrender; all to Him I freely give. Amen