In the morning

“¹⁴ O satisfy us in the morning with Your lovingkindness,
That we may sing for joy and be glad all our days.” (Psalm 90:14)

I am no expert on depression, and I am certainly not a psychiatrist.  What i know about depression, I know from experience, both within myself, and with some close to me.

I have heard it said that most suicides happens in the wee hours of the morning, right before dawn.  I’m not sure if that is true, but I know that my own personal battle with depression was at it’s worse, often within this time frame.  I used to wake up with feelings of hopelessness, doom and gloom, despair.  Sometimes, it was just too hard to lift my head off the pillow.

Someone close to me, actually had two plans laid out on how to accomplish their own demise.  Thank God, this person admitted this before it was too late.  In the verse that i quoted above, it says, ” O satisfy us in the morning with Your Lovingkindness…”

I have found over the years that God is the only true cure for depression in me.  I am on Meds, to manage the roller-coaster ride of emotions, as is my loved one who struggles with depression.  Meds take the edge off, but what really calms my soul, and gives me peace within, is God.  I don’t know how people can live without the knowledge of His Great love.  If I didn’t know God loved me,  I’d be a goner.

I didn’t always know the depth of His love, and tried to gain what I already had.  but there came a time where I had to choose, over and over again, to believe God rather than my own feelings, or thoughts,   I needed to cease to trust myself, and trust God’s perspective instead.  I have learned to take God at His word, and it has brought such freedom and joy.

  ^“‘For while we were still helpless, at the right time Christ died for the ungodly. ⁷ For one will hardly die for a righteous man; ^[d]though perhaps for the good man someone would dare even to die. ⁸ But God demonstrates His own love toward us, in that while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us. ⁹ Much more then, having now been justified ^[e]by His blood, we shall be saved from the wrath of God through Him. ¹⁰ For if while we were enemies we were reconciled to God through the death of His Son, much more, having been reconciled, we shall be saved ^[f]by His life. ¹¹ And not only this, ^[g]but we also exult in God through our Lord Jesus Christ, through whom we have now received the reconciliation.” (Romans 5:6-11)

God demonstrated His love for me, not while i was at my best, but at my worst; while still a sinner, in rebellion, lost and separated from this precious God.  He demonstrated it by coming to earth as Jesus Christ, teaching me what love really is, and dying for me so that I could experience the love of God through faith in what He has already done.  i can’t add anything to it, nor can i take anything away from it.   God’s love is based on Himself, not me.  His love begins with Him, and ends with Him.  So as He has no beginning or end, as He is the Alpha and Omega, so is His love endless, eternal, forever.

Like I said before, I am no expert on depression, I only know what works for me,  God.

I have have found Him to be the one who satisfies me in the morning with the result being, “that I may sing for joy and be glad all my days.”

Amen and Amen