Testing the fences

img_0126.jpgHave you ever seen the movie “Jurassic Park”?  It’s one of my favorites.  One of the most ominous scenes depicts a set of bent and broken “raptor fences.”  The Animal management expert describes the raptors as “always testing the fences,”  These creatures were looking for a point of weakness in the electrical fences, a way of escape, because they hated being fenced in.  I can relate to this all too well.  I am a bit of a rebel, not proud of it, but there it is.  I am very free-spirited, which can be good, can be not-so-good.  But God knows just how to tame a wild and wandering heart.  He has tamed mine, and now I sit at His feet, surrendered, content and at peace.

1 Corinthians 10:12-14

12 Therefore let him who thinks he stands take heed that he does not fall. 13 No temptation has overtaken you but such as is common to man; and God is faithful, who will not allow you to be tempted beyond what you are able, but with the temptation will provide the way of escape also, so that you will be able to endure it.

A lot of people would have considered me a lost cause, not worth the effort, too much work.  But God did not, He knew the reasons for my rebellion, my tendency to “test the fences,” and try to find a way out.  God has lovingly boxed me in at times in my life.  Circumstances usually were the culprits, but also, inner struggles.  I have suffered with anxiety disorder pretty much my whole life.  It has manifested itself in many forms.  I was diagnosed with “social anxiety disorder,” and given medication, and sent on my way to figure out how to cope.  But simple coping was not what God had in mind for me.  He wanted to set me free.  He wanted me to be redeemed, and beautifully transformed into His mage, the image of His dear Son, my Savior, Jesus Christ.  He accomplished this by ‘boxing me in.”  I felt I would go crazy being so confined in my life, too many walls, too many boundaries.  I spent a lot of time and energy trying to find a way out, to find the door to my own freedom.  I just wanted to get out and run.  I am definitely a creature of nature, and love the outdoors; hiking, walking, escaping far from civilization.  But God had me confined, and for a much deeper reason than I could have imagined.

He sat with me, in my cage, and waited for me to stop bloodying my knuckles, trying to claw my way out.  He waited in the “inner room, and I would not find Him until I ventured away from the walls.  You’ve all seen these beautiful creatures at the zoo, pacing back and forth in there cages; restless, agitated, and relentless.  Well, that was me, and when I ran out of energy, when all hope of escape failed me, I looked deeper in; I came away from the outer walls.  My freedom was going to come from within, not without.  God waited for me there, in that inner room, and He beckoned me to come away with Him and go deeper.  So I left my walls, I ceased to look for the door, I stopped testing the fences, and I moved toward the center of the room.  I found God there, or actually, He found me.  He took my bloodied knuckles, my broken spirit, my seemingly defeated soul, and He cleansed me.  He washed off all the dirt and dried blood.  He treated my emotional wounds with His calming oil.  He applied the bandages of His love, and He held me close to His heart.

1 Corinthians 10:12-14

12 Therefore let him who thinks he stands take heed that he does not fall. 13 No temptation has overtaken you but such as is common to man; and God is faithful, who will not allow you to be tempted beyond what you are able, but with the temptation will provide the way of escape also, so that you will be able to endure it.

God provided my way of escape.  I couldn’t find it on my own, I couldn’t make my own door.  I was not strong enough to bend and break through my fences.  And thank God, I wasn’t.  For in the confinement of my frailties, my weaknesses, my failures; it is there that I found God, that I found Jesus, or rather He found me.  He is in the ‘inner room,” waiting for you, as well, today.  Come away from your hurried life, come deeper.  Come away from your fears, your cares; bring them and lay them at His feet.  And sit there awhile, listening to His kind words, hear the gentle whispers of His grace.  Rest my dearest friend, rest there with Him.  He will set you free from all that makes you feel like you just “need to get out of here.”  He is the way of escape,  He is the door, He has placed the boundaries in your life for a reason, so come away from those walls, and You will find Him waiting for you, in the Inner Room.”

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About eloracseniah

May God's Truth prevail and Love triumph, where we have failed. Amen
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