Tranquility

I woke up very early this morning 4:30 to be exact.  I was just laying in bed and used the TV remote to put on the Lite Classical station.  I hit the wrong numbers and it came up as “Tranquility.”  I lay there and listened to the soft strings, the gentle strokes of the keyboard, the alluring tune of the flute and I was struck by the joy music can actually bring.  I believe music is one of God’s great gifts to mankind.  I believe we all have a kind of music in our souls, a song of sorts, that represent our lives.  It is a tune that changes with time and age, wear and tear, joy and sorrow.  Tranquility is a word I have always loved,  it is one of those “beautiful words,” that you just want to repeat over and over again, because it feels so good to say it.  I looked up the definition on the internet and found the following:

Tranquility- easiness, hearts-ease, peace, peace of mind, repose, serenity, calmness, composure, placidity, quietness.”

I realized that when I was young, I was so busy trying to run things on my own, I had no peace.  I was bossy and self-seeking.  It was all about me, and I tried to manipulate people, things, circumstances, in order to make sure I was taken care of.  I spent years in misery of the acutest kind and feel I made others kinda miserable too.  It wasn’t constant, thank the Lord, but it was there all the time.  Like a sleeping dragon ready to rear it’s ugly head and blast the first person who upset my plans with fire from within.  Sounds pretty hideous doesn’t it.  I didn’t know this while it was going on, I only see it now as I look back in the distance at who I was.  That girl died, slowly, painfully, as all her plans came crashing down.  Nothing happened the way I thought it would, the way I tried to make it happen.  I was powerless to make anything out of my life.   Now mind you, I was a follower of Jesus Christ through this whole time.  He was my Savior and Lord.  Well, actually, He was my Savior and I was trying to be lord.

Jesus loved me too much to let me stay this way.  He didn’t let me have my way, He let me suffer the consequences of my own bad choices at times, and at other times, He rescued me from myself.  Over the years,  I’ve slowly mellowed, learning to yield, learning to let go and Let God have His own way.  I’ve learned His timing is best, His ways are best, he knows best.  And now as I sit here listening to this beautiful Tranquility music, I realize it is now my song.  I now sing a song of tranquility from within.  I have surrendered, I have yielded.  I now  see who is in control and I am so at peace with what He is doing in my life.  It has not been easy, so much pain and loss has transpired.  But I can truly say, it’s worth it all,  He is worth it all, my all. Jesus is my All in all.  I think it is beautifully curious that serenity and surrender sound so similar, because you can’t have one without the other.  I love the saying “No Jesus, no peace…Know Jesus, Know Peace.”  How very true this is.  Everything is not well with my life, there are struggles, and worries and uncertainties.  The world seems to be spiraling down a path of self-destruction, even as I once was.  It is my greatest hope and prayer, that someone might read this and turn to the One who can bring true tranquility within.  Jesus will love us into new creations.  When we stop wriggling and struggling against His firm grasp, and start resting in His warm embrace;  only than can serenity meet surrender.  Yield to the one who is Lord of all, and You will find Him a far better manager of your life than you could ever be your self.

Thank You, Jesus, for loving me into surrender, for the peace that passes understanding.  Thank you for prying my fingers off the steering wheel so You could take me, so You could make me, who I was always meant to be. Amen

“All to Jesus, I surrender, all to Him I freely give.  I will ever love and trust Him, in His presence daily live.”