Make my life count for The Kingdom

Pic by: Meg Haines

By: Carole L. Haines 

The Lord seems to want me to be a little vulnerable by sharing from my personal journal today. Here you go: 

Lord, fill my day with whatever You want it to be filled with. Fill my day with You. I’m sorry that I keep wanting to make my life count. I fully embrace the fact that I cannot make my life count at all. I must lose my life in order to gain it. Lord, I just bow under whatever comes from You. I’m exhausted from trying. Help me to just lift people up and encourage their hearts and souls. I have no idea what You are doing here, but I know I need to lose my life, surrender what is left of it to You. Please make my life count. I realize now that I may never see that in this life. I am so grateful to You for who You are. Please make my life count for the Kingdom of God.”
(CLH Pouring out Journal) 

I have struggled most of my life for significance. Only God knows why. Perhaps because I was a middle child lost between three other children who had much stronger personalities. But I know Jesus has shown me the truth that I must lose my life to truly find it.  

“Then Jesus said to His disciples, “If anyone wishes to come after Me, he must deny himself, and take up his cross and follow Me. For whoever wishes to save his life will lose it; but whoever loses his life for My sake will find it.” (Matthew 16:24-25) 

People say things like, “Well, that’s just my cross to bear!” But I don’t think Jesus meant that when he said these words. The Cross was the reason Jesus was born, He came to die for you and for me. I think when He tells us to take up the cross, He wants us to die to our own ideas for our lives and take up what He has in mind for our lives. He says we must deny ourselves, take up the cross and follow Him. Denying ourselves is just as big a part as taking up the cross. But God’s Will is not something to be afraid of, It says in Romans 12:2 (NLT)

And do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, so that you may prove what the will of God is, that which is good and pleasing and perfect.

God’s will is good and pleasing and perfect. I am learning to yield, surrender and trust. You’d think at my age I’d have this down, but I don’t. I must live in a constant state of surrender, yielding and losing my own ideas for my life. Only Jesus can give our lives meaning. Only Jesus can make our lives matter. I surrender my all to Him. 

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